by Cheryl Moses
For all my single girls, marrieds without kids and for your precious sisters whose wombs will forever be empty….
As Mother’s Day approaches I often find myself a bit nostalgic. Everyone is making plans for the day – celebrations, surprises, and family gathering, but not me, and I’m okay with that.
My mother passed away when I was 28. I’m almost a couple of decades past that now, but I still miss her. I don’t despise the plans others are making, nor do I wish the day away. Life and death are part of our experience and we shouldn’t let the latter overshadow the first.
Yet this Mother’s Day I’ve been thinking about you – your hearts, your longings, your pain and disappointments. Mostly, I’ve been thinking how lonely many of you must feel on Mother’s Day. This is that day when the sting of words, glaring stares, confused looks and inconsiderate words come back to haunt you. You know the ones I’m talking about because they’re etched in your mind and some still prick your heart.
“Why haven’t you had kids yet? Don’t you want them?” Or in my case, “You’ve NEVER had kids? Wow!”
Here are a few others that I especially abhor, “You wouldn’t understand because you don’t have kids,” and my least favorite, “Well that’s because you don’t have kids.”
No one sees the tears you cry in secret because of the pain in your heart to bear children. No one understands the choices you’ve made that have lead you to where you are. No one but you know what God has called you to, and sometimes even you wonder about that.
Whether you are single by choice or like me, still waiting, or whether you’re childless by choice or still praying, barren or awaiting the call that will fill your arms with a child, please hear me today. You are significant. Your life matters! THERE IS GREAT VALUE IN YOU TODAY.
Embrace your own unique journey. You will never have the freedom and opportunities you do now. Enjoy them! Cherish them! Honor the Lord through them.
Good moms are not born. They’re taught. Whether you were privileged to be raised by one or not, start mothering right where you are. Take a younger woman under your wing. Pour into her. Love on a few babies. Help a young mom out. Do for others what you’d want if you were in their shoes. Use your life to bless them while you wait for your own blessing to arrive.
Do not lament what you don’t have. Rejoice in God’s goodness to you today! He gives in abundance where gratefulness abides. As you give thanks for what is good in your life, your desire may not fade but your spirit will find peace with you today. God is not punishing you with barrenness or singleness. You are not suffering the plight and stigma of empty arms. You are simply holding out for God’s goodness while your arms find their way around another daughter or son to love.
Do what many busy moms cannot. Give yourself away, mothering the motherless, or whomever the Lord puts in your path. Oh, the power of your voice and the impact of your influence. You don’t have to bear children to be a mother.
Allow your current circumstance to groom you for the person you wish to become. Don’t allow the enemy’s lies to keep your heart filled with sorrow. Step into the innate desire within us all – every woman, to nurture and to care for someone. It’s embedded within you. So it has to spill out somewhere or else your heart will become sick.
I received a gift this week from an anonymous giver. It was this beautiful purple rose, a real one that had been dipped in 24 kt gold. Whoever sent it knows I love purple, but it was the enclosed note that got me. I’ve reread it multiple times this week because it touched me so deeply.
It simply said, “Cheryl Moses, thank you for being a spiritual Mom to so many. You are loved, greatly!”
Your words can touch where a mother’s cannot, even though they’ve said the same thing over and over to their children. Your life makes a difference. Your words matter. You are not broken because you’re not a mom. Your life is a beautiful gift waiting to be poured out. Please share it today.